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Chapter2
Isaiah and I get back into the house around midnight. We heard my mother calling for us around 10, but as usual, we ignored her. We go to our separate bedrooms, a little drink, actually, a lot drunk. We don’t say goodnight to each other, we never do. I just give him asquint look that lets him know that somewhere, deep in the bottom of my heart, I love him. He staggers to his room, whistling too loud, but he really doesn’t care. I escape to my room, close the door, surprised that there is no key in the door. I’ve got just one thing on my mind.
I get undressed, completely, not even thinking. Blame it on the alcohol, blame it on hormones, hell, blame it on the man on the moon, but I suddenly have the serious urge to touch myself. I get onto the bed and pull the covers over my pussy, pulling on my clit gently. As my pussy warms, I wet two of my fingers and send them into my cunt, pleased to find it hot, and wet. My mind goes to places that it really shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself.
Thoughts of Tyler consume me. I think of his legs, strong and sturdy, slightly bandy, and his crotch. The outline of his penis was clearly visible when I was introduced to him earlier this evening, and even in most of his full body pictures online. I can’t help but thinking that he either has a constant erection, or a very large penis. She allows herself to go there, in the safety of this room. And there is something about his eyes, something deep, and attractive. His voice too sounds like vanilla velvet, if it had a flavor of course, and she imagines his lips on her pussy, creaming a little more.
The wind blowing into the room moves the curtains away from the glass, and she looks up at where the wind is intruding on her private moment. She thinks she catches the outline of a man, outside her window, watching her. She stops with her cunt activity for a moment, straining to see who could be watching her. She knows those legs, it is Tyler, and I pulls her finger out of herself, feeling very exposed. The vodka gets the better of me though, and I decide to take myself over the edge anyway. I pull the blanket off myself completely, and open my legs. I send two fingers into myself, straining to catch his eyes.
The curtains are dancing now in the breeze, so that it is impossible for me to get a lock on his gaze. I don’t care though, knowing that Tyler is on the other side of the glass, knowing that he could step in at any moment, knowing somehow that he wouldn’t dare, and not knowing how clearly he can see what I am doing to myself. This is my way of telling him that I don’t give a fuck about him, that he is irrelevant in my life. For now though, for this moment, he is very necessary.
I close my eyes, getting closer and closer to the edge. I wish that he would expose himself to me, so that I have the fuel needed to take myself to a magnificent end. But I have to rely on my imagination, for now. My imagination is all I need though, and I create snapshots in my mind of all the images of his bulge, undressing it in my head, and I cream all down her thighs in beautiful excess.
When I open my eyes he is gone. Did I imagine it, seeing what I wanted to see? I do have a bit of a wild imagination, and the vodka didn’t do much to help the situation. I reach for the tissues on the side of my bed, and clean myself up. After tossing the tissues in the bin, I jump back into the bed, and pull the covers over myself. I will deal with the apparition that I saw outside my window in the morning, I tell myself, as I rock myself gently to sleep.
At breakfast the next day my mother goes out of her way to get us in the Christmas mood. It is hard though, with the sun hanging high in the sky outside and not a single snowflake is sight. Tyler walks onto the terrace and I can’t help but look at his crotch before his face. I have vague memories of last night, and I think of how I can ask him if he played peeping tom, without coming out and asking him, of course.
“ So, how did everybody sleep,” I ask, making small talk, trying to get to the bottom ofthis mystery rather quickly.
“Well, you and your brother disappeared onus, and then we went to bed. At least I know that there isn’t much trouble you can get into on the island …” My mother feels the need to play mother, probably to give the semblance of some normalcy to our existence.
“I took a midnight stroll, it helps me to think, to process my thoughts. It’s amazing what beautiful surprises are held in the dead of night …” Tyler speaks now, letting me know that it was him, and he did see me.