Chapter10
Chapter10
I woke up in a hospital bed. How sad that this was way too familiar to me. I am used to waking up in the hospital, I did it for 9 months until I was strong enough to fight back. My room was empty, no one was there unlike when I was in juvie and 9 out of 10 times Greg would be sitting next to me when I woke up looking worried and guilty. He always blamed himself when he couldn't protect me but it wasn't his fault. He didn't understand the pull my family had or how it worked in juvie as an inmate. He also didn't want me fighting back but after 9 months he told me I needed to fight back or I wouldn't survive. I could hear voices outside my room that sounded like people arguing. I didn't pay it much attention and just laid still.
After 15 minutes I was still alone so decided I should alert someone that I was awake so I could go back to the Addison. I pressed the call button and a few minutes later I walked a nurse. "Oh good you're awake. I'm Sherrie your nurse for this evening, how are you feeling?" She asked. "Good" I rasped out. She smiled and said, "Let me just check your vitals then I'll get you some water and call the doctor. Hopefully we will get you out of here soon". I nodded and she got busy taking my temperature, checking my blood pressure and also wanting to check the bump on my head from when I passed out. "You got a lot of people out there fighting to get in to see if you are ok. We had to call security in and the only person allowed is your lawyer after they called some judge. What's up with that sweetly?" She asked. I just shrugged my shoulders not wanting to talk to her. Sherrie left and I was once again alone.
After another few minutes Sherrie, a man in a doctor's coat, Jenny and Mr Black came into the room. I looked at Jenny but the doctor began to speak saying "Welcome back Matilda, you gave everyone quite the scare. Your lawyer informed me you suffered a panic attack during a court hearing and a pretty bad one at that. Can you remember the trigger?" I looked at Jenny and then back at the doctor before replying "I am not comfortable disclosing that information with Mr Wilson's attorney here". The doctor nodded and then turned to Mr Black "You need to leave the room while I discuss with my patient what caused her panic attack".
Mr Black stormed out of the room slamming the door as he went. I jumped and began to breathe heavily. The nurse handed me the water but my hands were shaking so much, I couldn't take it. Jenny came to my side and said "Tilly focus what can you see?" I shook my head and managed to ward off the panic attack before it got hold. The doctor stated "Well I know the reason for your attacks now, aggressive men. I'm guessing seeing all your family in court and arguing is one of the triggers for the attack. You hit your head pretty hard and I want you to stay overnight". "Please I don't want to be where they can find me. I want to return to my accommodation. There is a social worker on site who can check on me if needs be but please let me go" I begged. I couldn't stay here knowing they were all outside my room. I knew I wouldn't sleep. The door didn't have a lock on it and I don't trust them not to come in and hurt me during the night.
The doctor finally agreed to let me leave after speaking to the social worker from The Addison. He assured both Jenny and me that everything that was said to him would remain confidential so my family wouldn't find out where I was staying. I just had to sign some forms and then I could leave. Jenny was going to take me and hand me over to the social worker but first Mr Black would return to the room and we would do a conference call with the judge for him to hand down the ruling from today. I was worried about Mr Black returning to the room but the doctor assured me he would be advising him that if he became aggressive again he would be escorted off the hospital grounds. The doctor was going to be present during the call also in case the judge needed to hear medical clearance for me.
It was finally just Jenny and I in the room and she grabbed my hand and said "You are doing so well Tilly, you got this. You just got to keep fighting" I smiled a little and nodded. "I just want to be free from it all Jen. I am sick of the pain, I'm sick of feeling like this. I want freedom from it all but they don't care. Once again they don't see what's right in front of them and are going to push me. It's not enough I'm already broken. They won't be happy until I'm 10 feet underground" I say. I failed to see the door had opened and the doctor and Mr Black were standing there listening along with my father and brothers close behind. "Is that how you feel Matty?" Joshua asks with tears in his eyes. All my brothers and father have tears in their eyes. They look at me with what looks like regret and pain. I won't answer them at all. I turn and look at the wall wanting to get this over with.
The call is placed and soon we are on the line with the judge. The doctor explained the panic attack was caused by what was happening in court with all the people present, and the aggressive nature and let the judge know I almost had another attack when Mr Black became angry when he was asked to leave while the doctor spoke to me. The doctor was then excused out of the room. The judge then handed down his ruling stating that my address would remain private and that instead of a hearing in 2 weeks my family and I would be heading to round-table mediation in the hopes of keeping me from having another panic attack and finding a working solution for both parties in my case for legal emancipation against my family. During those two weeks, my protection order was still in place and my family could only contact me through my lawyer. Jenny seemed happy with that outcome for now and it was time for me to head back to the Addison.
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