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Chapter4
Three years and three months it has taken to get the footage from my so-called family. Today we are in court. Jenny and Greg will be with me. They brought me some clothes to wear for the hearing. I'm currently getting ready to head over to the court. I have changed into a black dress and some black ballet flats. My hair Jackie put in two braids for me. In the years I have been in juvie, Jackie has been in and out. She is back in for drug possession. We became close. We are both 17. She turns 18 in two weeks, me I'll be 18 in April next year. Today November 10th is the day I prove my innocence. My family was ordered to provide the footage in court today or they will be charged with murder. They have attempted to block me each and every time we try to prove my innocence.
I have grown a lot while I was juvie, I am now 5ft 6 and have an hourglass figure just like my mother. God, I wish she were here. I hope she is proud of me. I finished sitting my HSC while in juvie and am waiting on the release of my ATAR. I want to help kids like me and become a legal aid lawyer. Jenny and Greg helped me when they could. During our sessions each week Jenny tutored me and helped me write my application for early entry to my law degree. I was accepted on the grounds I was found innocent. If I get out today Jenny is going to file for emancipation immediately and ask for a protection order for me against my so-called family. Once that is done she will take me to Centrelink and then has secured me a place with youth off the street. We have already applied for housing with the uni. I will never step back into that house with those people.
Over the years in juvie, they didn't know that the people they sent to beat me were jailed as the case was kept out of the public eye for my safety. Don't get me wrong juvie wasn't easy. I still got into fights and have had to defend myself like the other day I was stabbed by a chick for supposedly using her shampoo. After a while, people knew not to mess with me. Greg kept an eye on the guards and so did the chief. The chief was now an older woman who also helped me with the HSC, she was transferred in 2 years ago and when she heard my story she made it her mission to vet all guards and try to stamp out the corruption. I worked in the kitchen to earn money for essentials. We had to buy up once a week where we could buy toiletries and underwear plus extra food and a few luxuries. Most families pay into inmates' accounts so they can make phone calls and buy stuff but not mine. Jenny paid money in for my birthday and Christmas but I never expected her to. She also brought heaps of snacks from the vending machines during our visits. She and Greg were the only two people I had a connection within the outside world.
I scan my card and head to the transport with the other girls going to court today. Some will be heading back together and some may be heading home. Me, I don't know where I will be heading. I don't have a home anymore. I am just hoping for freedom. Freedom from juvie, freedom from my family and freedom from my mind. Though freedom from my mind will be hard. About a year ago I was diagnosed with PTSD. I get nightmares that feel so real and panic attacks. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me was very kind. He assured me that it was normal for someone like me to react the way I did after what I was put through. He forms part of the evidence for my case against my family. Not only is Jenny filing against the state if I am acquitted today, but she will be filing a case against my family, Harry and also the juvenile detention centre I was held at.
Greg managed to find footage of what I was put through for the first three months. As Jenny said, "shit will hit the fan today". Sometimes I just want it all over so I can get on with my life. But then I remember what I was put through and people need to be held accountable for their actions. I don't want revenge, I just want justice. If my family sign the emancipation papers without drama then I will walk away from the other lawsuits against them. I just want them out of my life.
I hadn't realised we were at the court until one of the other girls Jessie tapped me on the shoulder. I move towards the exit with the other girls and am taken under the court to the cells. Jenny is waiting for me and is wearing a huge smile. "We have the footage," she says. I just nod. "Your family is here in the courtroom. Shit has already hit the fan as they watched the footage before handing it over. They are calling for you to be immediately let go. Harry was arrested and is in a holding cell. You ready for show time" she said.
Just as she finished one of the guards from the court came in calling my name. He opened the cell and took off my cuffs leading Jenny and me up to the courtroom. I stopped in front of the door asking for a minute. "You ok Tilly?" Jenny asked. "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can face them" I replied. "You got this Til, you go in there hold your head up high and show them the bad bitch I know you can be. Don't let them break you now" Jenny said.
Jenny and I became close during my time in juvie. She was like a big sister to me. She told me all about her life and listened to me when I was at my lowest. She was a mum when I needed it. She talked me through my first period and also hugged me while I broke down. I took a deep breath, nodded to Jenny and then followed Jenny into the court with my head held high and a neutral look on my face. I got this I repeated to myself.