Used as "Practice" Then Kissed? I'm Done with Him!

Chapter 2

Tears of heartbreak and humiliation streamed down my face, each one more painful than the last.

Ryan's words kept replaying in my mind, over and over, shredding what was left of my dignity.

If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I never would've believed that the same guy who had held me so closely just the night before could say such cruel things.

So, you really can do something so intimate without love.

Even in the most passionate, out-of-control moments, it's easy to lie and deceive.

What I thought was the culmination of everything we'd shared, the years of me chasing after him, the nights of stolen glances, was nothing but a joke to him and his friends.

The more I cried, the more anger and confusion twisted inside me.

But I kept it quiet. My body trembled, shaking uncontrollably.

Time dragged on.

Then, my phone buzzed with a message notification.

It was from Ryan.

[Take a cab home. I'm going to a party with my class tonight, so it's not convenient for me to give you a ride.]

I didn't respond.

Another message came through.

[Don't forget the morning-after pill. I'm busy today, so you'll have to handle it yourself. Make sure you take it, okay?]

I stared at those messages for what felt like an eternity, numb and speechless.

Last night, from dusk until dawn, Ryan had pushed me to my limits, over and over.

Before we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, he'd whispered twice:

"I wasn't really prepared for our first time. I'll definitely get you the pill tomorrow."

He even made sure to tell me that girls needed to protect themselves, and I needed to take the morning-after pill, or it could harm me.

At the time, I thought he was being so responsible. I thought he genuinely cared for me and that I'd finally found the happiness I'd been waiting for.

But now...

In a single instant, reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

I pinched my palm hard, forcing myself to stop crying.

Wiping my tears away, I took a deep breath and pulled myself together before stepping out of the bathroom.

Too embarrassed to go to the pharmacy, I ordered the pill online.

When it arrived at my door, I waited forever before finally creeping out to grab it.

I swallowed the pill with a shaky hand, my vision blurred by tears, and then collapsed onto the carpet, staring blankly at nothing.

Ryan's family had moved in next door years ago, and for ten years, I'd followed him around like a love-struck puppy.

I'd never even considered what life would be like without him.

I didn't dare to think about it.

But now, I had no choice. I was on my own.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the lights flickered on and off as night settled in.

I'm not sure how much time passed before my best friend, Lily, video-called me.

"Mia, why didn't you go to the party with Ryan tonight?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Claire from the liberal arts class showed up instead. She's been all over Ryan. Honestly, it's kinda disgusting."

Lily turned the camera to show me.