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Chapter29
When Bryson went home that night everyone was still there. More shit went down with my brothers telling Bryson to back off because apparently, we were getting way too close. He ended up telling them that they had no chance of ever being close to me when they couldn't even stand up for me against Sian. Sian even accused me of wanting her fiance. The only one according to Bryson who stood up for me was Lucas which surprised me. My own father allowed his niece to accuse me of going after her fiance when I had never met him before. Like seriously these people never learn.
I was on my way to see the therapist who usually did our family sessions by myself. He wanted to know why I hadn't been coming. He had thought we were making progress so that's what I was doing, going to tell my side of the story. Bryson was coming with me in case my family showed up. We entered the building and John ushered me into the room. Bryson was going to wait in the foyer in case my family showed up and would text me if they did. I told John about what went down at the BBQ and how it made me feel. He seemed to understand and offered to speak to my family for me and try to get them to understand it from my perspective. I told him about what had happened that night how the only person to stand up for me was Lucas and how once again they believed the wrong person.
I no longer wanted to engage in therapy with them. I didn't think it was beneficial to me. I had spent the week getting panic attacks and not sleeping. Last night Harley had snuck back into my room to stay with me because I couldn't calm down. While I was in the session my father just kept calling me until John decided he was going to answer it and explain to my father he was impeding any progress on trying to build a relationship and that he needed to respect my boundaries. I honestly didn't know what they expected to achieve when they proved they would never fight for me against anyone. My father was ringing to let me know of plans for Christmas which was in less than three weeks. He had rocks in his head if he thought I would be spending Christmas with him and a bunch of people who thought it was ok to treat me like shit. I felt like I was back at day one with them and I wasn't prepared to keep going backwards.
John invited me to a session with each person individually as he thought that that may help with progress and I could see who was willing to come to the party and who wasn't. He didn't think putting everyone in the same room together would work. My father was the one to dictate things from his and my brother's side and just believed I was his child so would fall in line. He didn't get that I would not just blindly follow him anymore like I used to. Mum used to fight for me and seeing she wasn't around to do it anymore it was my job. As much as I wanted someone else to do it, none of them seemed to want to except for Bryson.
Bryson and I were headed to the beach when we ran into Lucas. Bryson put me behind him turning into the protective big brother I wished my actual brothers would be. "Hey Bry and Matty" Lucas said "It's Matilda to you Lucas" I stated. He just nodded his head before saying "Bryson I'm not going to hurt her she is my sister". Is this guy serious? He wouldn't hurt me? Oh wait he paid people to do that for him now. Yeh, I was still pissed at him, well I was pissed at all of them but he was here so he would have to deal with it. "Oh you only hurt me when your brothers and father are around otherwise you get other people to do the dirty work, my bad" I said. "Ouch, low blow Matilda. I just wanted to talk to you. I need to apologise. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you with Sian. She should not have done that, we are all so used to her, that we just ignore it. When she accused you of wanting that dickhead I lost it, your 17 and that guy is nearly 40. She was fuming" Lucas said. "Dad is pissed you didn't turn up to the sessions. I don't blame you. We all fucked up. You were opening up to us and then we let you down. I let you down and I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but I hope you give me a chance" Lucas said.